For years I have thrown my all behind relationships where I have felt a slight real connection. Recently I met a man who looked into me and knew me immediately. I had never experienced such an intense instant connection with anyone before, and it made me realise how at times I allow people (rightfully or wrongfully) into my space and into my heart, and then end up spending years trying to work them out of my system. I didn’t know him, nor him I, but in the 3 days in which we got to know each other on a purely platonic level – I opened up to him more than I have opened up to any other male in my whole life. It was both incredibly scary and incredibly liberating all at once.
The funny thing about humans is that after an experience, we unpack what had happened, start getting advice from other friends as we start questioning what our gut had told us was real.
What I felt for him in that short period of connectedness – was I being emotionally played? Was it real? Was he just saying thing he thought I wanted to hear in order to get into my undies even though we never even kissed?
I find that when you ask certain friends about a connection – they give you a negative message – “he was just trying to get xxx out of you” (with the underlying message – “how could he like you?”). Other better friends are more supportive, telling you to trust yourself, but at what point do we look inwards and trust ourselves? At what point do we just take a moment for what it was – an incredible connection with another human being! A connection that doesn’t need a name or a box to fit it into. I’m not saying I fell in love with someone after 3 days, I’m saying that it took 3 days for me to realise that if we’re open and truthful with ourselves then anything is possible. I’m saying trust your heart and go with it – no matter where it will lead you.
This got me thinking about attraction, connection, love and how we perceive our world and the people we choose to allow into that world. We meet hundreds of people every day and over our life time come into contact with millions even, then why do only a few ever make it into the inner sanctums of your heart?
I have read of soul trees, where certain souls that we connect with travel across life times together. Some are members of your family, some are people you meet and feel you know them from somewhere but cannot put your finger on it, some are lovers (past or present), some are your nearest friends whom you trust, some are friends who have hurt you.
Then what of soul mates?
To take a quote from ‘Eat, Pray, Love’:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
If I don’t have another experience in India, I wouldn’t mind. I met someone who challenged my ideas on religion, on family, on love, on myself and for that I will always be grateful.
So my friends, just keep following the heart-lines on your hand. May my heart lead me home, wherever that may be.