I’m starting to feel a little bi-polar in the ashram. One minute I love it – the next I want to crawl up in a ball and cry. It has been incredibly good for my soul though, and as I said good bye to my room mate for the past 2 weeks, I sat on my bed watching the down pore of the monsoon rain outside and began to reminisce about the past 2 weeks.
Sure the 6AM Satsung call is a push – but I’m getting used to it. So used to it that I’m singing the chants from memory and even have the odd clap when the chant gets going (I know I’m even surprising myself). My Ayurvedic nurse/ angel, Naleni, asked me to come and chant in the formal temple one evening and I was only too happy to miss the happy clappy western Satsung and head down to take part in the local one. It was a little different, and their prayer books are written in Sanskrit so it was a very cool experience where I essentially just sat back and watched them chant songs I hadn’t heard yet. It also gave me some time to try meditate alone in the temple afterwards. This was not as successful and went something a little like this:
Raine: Ok focus and relax your knees
Ego: Wow my knees hurt, is this normal?
Raine: No I don’t think so.
Ego: Speaking of knees, that pose in class was pretty intense also. I was thinking about the class and I was wondering when I’ll be up in a head stand?
Raine: Ooooh a head stand would be so cool… What am I thinking about?? FOCUS… One, two, three, meditate.
Ego: Ok, Ok… But do you remember…
Raine: NO – MEDITATE!
Ego: [sulking now] I’m just trying to help you out… (at this point I pictured my ego sitting, arms crossed in front of her chest, head staring down at arms and pouting).
This process went on for a good 20 minutes until I was too exasperated to keep trying so I headed to bed.
I have 1 week left here and tomorrow the enemas start. Up and till now the detox has been fantastic. I mean who wouldn’t enjoy a 2 hour massage every day? In fact the pace of things happening, following a simple routine and just not having to think of the mundane day to day things has been absolutely wonderful.
Who would have thought that I would have met some incredible souls at the ashram, found a reconnection to living my life passionately and settled into this travel thing so fluidly?
I’ll check in again once I’ve completed the enema week – joy. Enjoy the pics of the Sivananda Ashram.